Day 177 - An unscripted ramble

Pretty simple one today. I haven't done a video blog for a while so here are some of my thoughts. There is little coherence, and I ramble a lot. But hey, you're welcome.

PART 1	PART 2
PART 3	PART 4

Oh and some photos of my room mate enjoying his trip!!

Too Cool

Working Hard or Hardly Working?

Hitting the Skins

Till tomorrow,

Tom

Days 135 to 176 (I think) - Letting things out

I wrote the entire post below before in one go, then went away for an hour to do some chores. I came back and re-read it, and some of it seems a bit petty. But I am going to leave it here. I think it is cathartic and I think it is important to note that getting these things out helps. Plus a lot my frustrations don't become less valid on a re-read.

I don't expect sympathy, I don't expect empathy, I don't expect anything. It is what it is. Life is tough right now, but there are ways to make it easier. Ups and downs go together, are flatlines are generally a bad thing.

Till next time (hopefully soon),

Tom

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So much for daily, or even semi-regularly posts. 

The truth is my voice has been lost. 

I was hoping to show you the delights of the South, whilst giving myself an outlet for any creativity that might arrive. I also hoped to be travelling the country, as well as entertaining whichever visitors felt like stopping by. And I had so many plans for daddy-daughter time.

Even though we've been let out a bit more here in Baton Rouge, its still nothing like it was before. Most things of interest are closed and there is only so many food posts, drum posts and posts from inside breweries I can do. Plus, with the spiking cases I expect a regression in the next few weeks.

And my desire to write about other things is at rock bottom. 

I feel like I've said all I dare to say most of the time. This trip was started amongst the wreckage of my life and I have tried so so hard to remain positive, despite everything. There are good days, and there are excruciating days, when even getting out of bed feels like a loaded decision. It's harder and harder to write blogs without the negativity creeping in. But the safety valve needs to go off, I feel like it is a daily battle to keep under control. I want Katie to have a positive role model, but I also want her to understand that life isn't always easy - and it is frequently unfair. You need that balance.

A big problem is that it all seems so petty compared to what other people are going through in the world. And I'm aware that my demographic (white, male, straight) has comfortably the least to be complaining about. But that doesn't stop it being real, it doesn't stop my problems being valid. I know they are small when held against the framework of the world - but they still fucking exist. They still drive me slowly towards complete insanity, so they still need to be voiced.

So this post is the result. 

Missing Katie is a huge part of it, watching as her life changes almost daily and being so far away. Parenting from a distance is the hardest thing ever, and I'm terrified that I'm going to be essentially redundant far earlier than I expected to be! I'm missing everything, and it hurts. 

It hurts more seeing other people who don't have to function like this - but don't realise how lucky they are to have the people they love so close. It feels like a slap in the face. I try so hard not to get angry, to try to empathise with what other people are going through. But it is hard. Those who don't want to make sacrifices shouldn't reap the benefits. 

The one thing about this trip that was always in the back of my mind, even before it became obvious I was coming over here single, was that at least home was close. Worst case, I could always be where I needed to be. Plus I'd have plenty here to keep me entertained on those days when the difficulties came to the boil. 

But it is systematically being taken, piece-by-piece, day-by-day.

My dad had to go home early, I've not hugged Katie for over 6 months, I've done zero travelling (and barely seen BR itself). 

I was so looking forward to Katie's birthday, I even dragged myself up at 2am to see her open her presents. But in amongst a zoo of other people I didn't manage to snatch more than maybe 10-15 minutes with her. Maybe 2 of which were at full concentration. I suspect it would be little different at home now that she's 12, but at least we'd be in the same room.

Father's Day was similar, something else I was planning to be around for taken away. For someone in my situation Father's Day means a lot to me. At the end of the day, I've already missed 6 years of Katie's life, and it won't be long before she doesn't need me anymore. So I treasure every single one. And I wasn't there. 

Even non-personal things like St. Patrick's Day, 4th July etc. have been ruined. Opportunities to get out, experience this country, meet people and begin to rebuild this phase of my life are just not available. Slowly, methodically, every reason why being here would be tolerable is being stripped away.

My birthday is in 10 days and I think a part of this melancholic introspection is coming from that. I turn 40 and (though age is just a number) humans are unavoidably drawn towards milestones (even those derived purely arbitrarily by ourselves). You don't see many "Happy 39th" cards around. When we as a society make a big deal of it, it becomes a big deal.

And you can't help but take stock and look back - especially when you have so much time to yourself. What did I imagine my life to be like at 40, and it is close? I had no life plan really, so it is hard to say it hasn't gone to plan! Bits are great, bits are awful. 

But you really do to start to second-guess yourself. 

Obviously I'm doing something wrong when it comes to certain things, otherwise I wouldn't be in the situation I am in - trying to put the pieces back together again without any real idea of what the jigsaw looks like. What did I do so wrong that left things the way they sit today? What about me is it that I'm sat here on my own questioning where I slipped up? 

I try every day to be a good person (and I know I haven't always managed this) but sometimes I wonder why I bother. Sometimes this world seems to reward those who just take what they want, those who just pretend to care about others. I appreciate people's priorities don't line up with mine all the time, but basic human decency should be on everyone's list. I look around at where I am and sometimes wonder if I'd be better off with that attitude. 

But that is not the right attitude. The world is close to anarchy, close to the edge. And that kind of selfish thinking has gotten us here, and won't get us out of this mess. 

So we go on. We grind against the unfairness of life, the karmic imbalance that seems to reward the wrong behaviour. And we look for the positives, the rays of sunlight, the moments to cherish. They are there, they just need some finding sometimes.

Days 128 to 134 - Another week

It's amazing how you can be busy the whole week, not have time to sit down and blog every night, and then come to write about the week's events and have literally NOTHING that seems relevant, important or interesting to say. And it has been a week in which we've have started to open up a bit here in Louisiana and begin the process of moving back towards the new normal - whatever that looks like. So it should have had things of interest to discuss.

The dichotomy between being busy but being unable to relate any of that to others is strange. I don't feel like I have the interest in telling you about what I've been up to, and for that reason I'm almost sure you don't have any interest in hearing! It's by no means terrible, but it just feels completely devoid of substance, shorn of any direction. It feels like motions being gone over, because that is what we do sometimes. We just grind the handle and the weeks go by.

And I certainly have plenty of things I want to be able to do one the lockdown is relaxed a bit more. But I don't think I can honestly look back on the last few months and say that I have made the best use of the time. I've not done nothing, in fact when I look at the list of things I've been up to it is actually quite full, but I just don't feel like any of it was of consequence. I just don't feel like any of it made a difference. 

I turn 40 this year and, unavoidably, milestones often find you looking back and taking stock of your life and your achievements. This last couple of years have obviously been very different and very difficult but even despite that I haven't managed to make as many positive changes and progressions as I would like. 

You can become acutely aware of things that you used to take for granted not being there anymore. And often you didn't even realise you had lost them. There are obvious ones, the biggies that cannot be avoided. But there are more subtle ones - friendships that you have neglected to the point where you can't remember the last time you physically saw people - hobbies or projects that you started so long ago that all they are now is a distant memory of a dream or passion you let drift. These hurt too, realising that you've missed out on experiences and memories that were often close enough to grasp, if you were just looking in the right place at the right time.

It can be disheartening, looking back on what you have done and realising that opportunities have been wasted - and in great number too. It can make it difficult to go again when you begin to question whether you have any relevance. 

Like all problems, an acknowledgement of things is step one - and I honestly know that this isn't some kind of bombshell that has dropped on me. I felt this for a while, but I've found great difficulty articulating it. And again, I don't lack for people to talk to, that isn't the problem. The problem is getting the balance right, between what you can do on your own and what you need some perspective for. 

We are often the worst at seeing our own lives through glasses with no bias, and some of us are notoriously bad at finding the right way to get that perspective and that balance. But the positive thing is that it is something you can control, something you can work on. 

There are things I miss, some beyond what you can comfortably ignore - and there probably always will be. But when I look around I know I am in a good place, and I know I have plenty of things going on in my life. It is just tapping into that and finding the right way to get passionate about these things again.

Hopefully as we move into the middle of the year I'll find a bit of mojo, get out and about a bit more and start to find that inner peace and sense of direction and purpose that has been lacking recently. 

Till tomorrow, Tom

Days 124, 125, 126 and 127 - Phase 1

Friday marked the entry into Louisiana of "Phase 1" of the return from Covid-19. I'm still not sure exactly what that means. A bit like Boris's pronouncements back home everything appears to be veiled in confusion and conflicting information. 

Hopefully it means the start of a move back towards some kind of normality but, honestly, who knows. And what even is normal anymore? The world is changing beyond belief in such a short space of time and trying to find a place in it is an ever moving target too it seems.

Not really knowing what is going to happen is the hardest thing. Trying to prepare for the key parts of the year with only vague plans available. When will I get back to see Katie? Will I be home alone on my 40th? How long will it be before I can give someone a hug (as much as I like my work colleagues we are a way from that at this point!)? You try to take the little snippets of positivity you get and use them to build a foundation, but you just don't know what the foundation is built on.

Gears are beginning to grind. The pool and gym have reopened at limited capacity - though the sight of the side panels being raised on the gym too might give you some idea of the temperature at nearly 6pm in the evening (30+C in case you were wondering). 

And the great thing about the heat is that it also brings the rains. It is a seemingly never ending cycle here - build up of humidity and temperature, awesome storm, really pleasant post storm "glow", and repeat.

At least I should start to get out and see more of Baton Rouge as Phase  builds. It may be a while before domestic travel becomes the norm again but the bits I've managed to see recently have been pretty promising. As the bars and restaurants tentatively begin to open their doors I hope that one of the key purposes of this blog (showcasing this part of the world) will happen on a more regular basis.

For now though, let me leave you with tonight's dinner - Creole-spiced chicken and andouille jambalaya. A taste of the south, hopefully there will be many more to come soon.

Till tomorrow, Tom

Days 100/101 - The next 100

So yesterday completed my first 100 days of my great adventure. I can safely so that no-one out there  would have seen it panning out the way it has when I finally agreed to it about 9 months ago. It is also pretty safe to say that even after I got here and started to settle in, it has definitely taken a turn for the worse.

Looking Forward

But this year was always supposed to be a positive so instead of looking back and reminiscing about the first 100 days, I want to look ahead to the next 100 - and set myself some goals. 

A lot of these are obviously pretty dependent on the lockdown being lifted and life returning to normal, but not all of them. Some are ambitious and may take the rest of the year, some should be quicker!

Get Katie over to visit

Do a skydive

Learn at least three songs on the banjo without needing to refer to the music

Join a martial arts group

Complete another 10km

Drop another 2 stone

Learn one song on the drums well enough to play along

Have a half-decent conversation in Spanish with someone

Go on a date (I'd even take an unsuccessful one!)

It's all about looking to the future, setting goals and working towards achieving them. If you look forward to what is to come, and set good targets, then it can really help you to work through those crappier times and take the positives out of things.

I'll keep you updated on progress, and let me know what else needs to be on the above list. Anything will be considered, provided it is legal of course!!

Till tomorrow,

Tom

Day 97 - A simpler time

So this week or so has been difficult. This is never an easy time of year, bad memories come thick and fast - too many, "what ifs" and "what could have beens".

I always seem to do the same thing when life gets like this, regress to what I suppose you would say is a simpler time. Being a kid really was very easy, I just wished I'd realised it back then. We spend a large part of our youth wishing to be older, then when we get older we begin to understand what it was that got wished away!

Just flicking through the TV planner here in the apartment I found something which perfectly exemplifies what I am talking about, the movie Chariots of Fire. Now if you've never seen it, you seriously need to go watch it. No special effects, no tricks, but quite simply one of the most inspirational and uplifting movies ever made (with possibly the most iconic opening theme in history). This was not a movie that needed to blow things up or convolute the plot to tie us in knots. It was simple, raw and, frankly, a million times better than anything we see today. Without the shortcuts afforded by modern technology this was how things used to be, you had no choice but to do it right. Simple. Beautiful. Evocative.

And it means a lot to me. I remember watching it with my folks at least a couple of times, great memories of childhood which mean so much this time of year. Plus, the opening scene is filmed on the West Sands at St. Andrews, a place that most of you know holds a very special place in my heart and my life. I'm not going to say it is where I was at my happiest, because that does disservice to the rest of my life (plus everyone knows my happiest times are always with Katie) but it was a period of my life that I often find myself yearning for in times of difficulty. Oh if I could go back to those days now, with everything I know today, the world would be there for the taking!

I guess it is no surprise that when things get a bit overwhelming, emotional or complicated in life that people look for those calmer times. As I mentioned before, my default "protective" position is a regression back to when things were simpler in my life. I don't know why it is, I just feel more comfortable when I am reminiscing about how things used to be. Is that healthy? Probably not in all honesty, but I think as long as you temper it with a healthy dose of realism (the world ISN'T going to go back to how it was) I don't think there is huge harm in it.

Sometimes it also helps to re-trigger something. Maybe a long-forgotten dream or an idea that was lost in the ascension to adulthood. Maybe something as simple as reminding oneself how far that person from all those years ago has come. 

Often though it just helps to reset, to remind yourself of how simple things used to be - because in all fairness there is no reason they need to be so complicated now just because we are older and supposedly wiser!

So take that look back through time, remind yourself of how simpler times were, and see if you can do something about making today that little bit less complex and painful. A healthy dose of nostalgia can go a long way.

Till tomorrow, Tom

Days 88,89,90 - A hodgepodge

Been an interesting last two/three days - I guess you could describe it as a combination of the old and the new.

For some reason Facebook has been high on the memories this last week or so. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. I think it is important sometimes not to distort memories too much by looking at them through the larger magnifying glass of life. 

I still get regular items pop up from the last 5 years with Natalie, and to be honest with the years before with other Natalie. I try to look at them in isolation, remember the happy time that came with the good memory, rather than ignore or suppress them because of what came later. For example, last year we had so many cool moments from our trip to Cyprus - and they remain moments that I'll cherish. Because they should. 

And Katie showed me a picture today that she's just had put in a frame of a wedding the three of us went to a few years ago now. I love that she is still able to look back on that evening with love and affection. I love that she is able to just take those moments of happiness in isolation and remember the positives about them. 

You shouldn't look back at your life and retrospectively review events because things didn't end the way you wanted. You shouldn't feel like you have to remember something differently because of what happened later. Live the moment, in the moment. Or maybe what I'm saying is I feel lucky that I don't have to do that.

But a part of looking back at old memories is trying to forge new ones, not easy in these uncertain times for sure. Finding new hobbies, new "obsessions", new loves is always important for keeping things fresh. I managed to find myself a couple of new TV shows to keep me entertained, not to mention a new book series or two. Plus you can see the (limited) progress I'm making on the banjo below!

All-in-all I just think it is so important to take the good from what has been, and try to forge the best future you can. And if you don't give something a whirl, you'll never know what you don't know. If you do make a mistake or go down a path you realise you shouldn't, hey you can usually rescue it before you go too far! 

Till tomorrow,

Tom

ps- how about last night's storm eh? 

Days 86,87 - Feeling it

This week is the first week were it is starting to feel a bit like I'm trapped. I know it is  now week three of working from home but for some reason this week is the one where I'm starting to get itchy feet about how long we are going to be inside. 

It is a combination of things really. Normally this time of the year is when the cricket and golf seasons start and I'm generally found outside most weekends, if not during the week as well. The fact that Katie was supposed to be here this week is also adding to it. I had so much good stuff planned and it sucks watching it all pass us by.

Still, you've got to try and take the positives where you can. Plus it is not one of those situations that can really be affected too much by what you do - at least I think you can only make it worse with inertia, you can't really influence that much the other way. 

So this week has been spent, as most of the ones before really, trying new things and generally doing my best to take advantage of the cards I've been dealt. They aren't amazing cards, but I'll admit that they are probably better than most other people's and I don't have that much of a cause to complain in the grand scheme of things.

Today marked my first proper day having a whack on my new drum kit. I mean I had a wee play over the weekend but I actually started watching the lessons that I signed up for today. Tried a few action shots but unfortunately the angle doesn't do great justice to my (slightly) reduced figure these days!! However, I wanted to get one action shot in so there you go.

In the Music Corner

Also found a spot for Winterfell and The Red Keep in the apartment. Day by day it is feeling more and more like my place and not just somewhere I am in for a year. Obviously once the restrictions are relaxed and I can get out and meet a few more people it'll feel even more like my new home - and I can see myself living here longer if Katie doesn't mind. I've certainly got enough people wanting to visit (including her!) so I wouldn't be too surprised to find me this side of the pond for a wee while yet.

Pride of Place

I hope everything is good with you all back home. I know it is difficult and there has been unprecedented change and challenges over the last few months. Just remember those people that get you through those difficult times, those are the ones to hold onto. 

The world can, and does change, in a heartbeat. Don't take for granted anything, embrace every single moment that you can and hold dear that which you care about. 

Till tomorrow,

Tom

Days 83,84&85 - Long Weekend

Long weekend just about coming to a close. Was supposed to be my first weekend with Katie so sucks quite a bit that it isn't. Actually sucks a lot. Had loads of cool stuff planned, most of which we can do if she gets over later in the year but not all :-( Plus when I came over, with everything that had happened, the light in the distance keeping me going forward was her visit. It is hard, very hard, to not have had that light for the last few weeks. 

However I've managed to fill the void with lots of ridiculously unnecessary purchases! Including some that will stretch my skills (and maybe patience) to breaking point. Still, it is much harder to better yourself if you don't challenge yourself. It is much easier to rediscover yourself and get to the real heart of things if you are giving yourself opportunities to grow and develop. 

It is still difficult seeing the way things are developing back home and just having to watch (especially when people you care about are really struggling with aspects of it). But you have to have faith and trust that people will do what is necessary, even if hard.

First day on the drum kit was a relative success, until I had to involve my feet. Then it was like an octopus trying to cook a paella blindfolded after a bottle of gin. Limbs everywhere, no rhythm and absolutely zero style. Good job it is electronic otherwise downstairs would have heard the sound of collapsing structures in their ears for weeks. It's all a process though, you don't improve without practising and you don't succeed without some failures along the way. It is learning from those things that don't go your way that is important.

Music Corner - where the magic may happen

Banjo was more successful - once I got it tuned. One evening of practice and I can now play (very roughly and with occasional mis-steps) both Ode to Joy and Auld Lang Syne. Once I feel comfortable enough I may even treat you to a rendition - just promise not to laugh at my concentrating face!! Once my keyboard arrives in a few weeks I may be 50%+ of the way to my own bluegrass band.

Bits of The Red Keep

The floor of my apartment is also a jumbled mess of jigsaw pieces as I try to assemble The Red Keep to join Winterfell. It's a bit easier as not everything is grey (and less of it is red than I expected) but it is still a challenge trying to slot everything together and make it all stand up!.

Add on to that the daily Spanish lessons and the ongoing books/games etc. and it's no wonder the time flies past. Hopefully it'll fly to such an extent that it only feels like days between now and when Katie finally touches down on US soil.

A place for contemplation - and the weather for it!

In other news, does anyone know how much a horse costs? Asking for a friend!

Till tomorrow,

Tom

Days 81&82 - Keeping Busy

The last week or so has definitely felt like a transition between things. It is no longer feeling like a short-term trip and more and more like I am here for the year (which obviously I am). I'm not sure why it is now that this has suddenly happened - other than the amount of time I've had to spend in the apartment due to the virus has gone up drastically in the last few weeks. 

I've also made more and more touches around the apartment which are making me feel like this is a more permanent home. And I think this is now the longest single trip away, so maybe that has contributed too.

Part of those "touches" has involved getting myself on with some new hobbies. As well as taking up Spanish, jigsaw puzzles and rediscovering my PS4, I've also branched out into gardening (well, the long-term Bonsai plan) and, more recently, music. As you can see in the video I have decided to embrace my complete lack of musical skill and try to learn an instrument - actually several. The first one to arrive is the banjo, so good luck to the neighbours!

The Office

I find it so important to keep busy. Time can be so fleeting and I think I owe it to myself to try and use it as productively as possible. Plus it helps take my mind of things going on around the world, not to mention some things about my life that I prefer not to dwell on. But it is also important to have variety. To have different ways of relaxing. Some that challenge the brain, some that don't. Physical ones, mental ones, a combination of the two - variety really is the key to keeping anything interesting and fresh.

It's not easy with the restrictions that are in place, and don't seem to be going anywhere soon, but there are 100s of ways out there to keep yourself (and others) entertained. And with modern technology it is becoming more and more practical to spend that time with others as well. 

Katie and I have been doing her schoolwork together the last few days - hopefully freeing Nat up to get on with her uni work and wait for the inevitable call to arms from the NHS. And that's the other key, working together to keep others engaged and entertained through this difficult time takes team-work and some level of sacrifice. 

Tasty Chilli

Being busy is all part of modern life. It's being the right kind of busy that I've been working towards over the last few weeks. Now where did I put the banjo?!

Till tomorrow, Tom

Days 79&80 - Calm amongst the storm

Have you ever looked at the night sky? I mean REALLY looked at it. It is staggeringly beautiful and mind-blowing at the same time. There are officially 88 modern constellations according to the IAU (International Astronomical Union) but the view is so much more than patterns and billions upon billions of twinkling lights.

Astronomy is one of the oldest sciences as cultures as far back as the Babylonians and Maya recorded observations of the night sky (and put their findings to practical use in most cases). In fact, almost every civilisation there has ever been has looked to the heavens and tried to understand the universe or simply marvelled at the beauty of it.

As a scientist by nature, the way the stars and planets interact and the "celestial dance" they perform across our night sky is fascinating, but today I want to get away from the mechanics and look at the aesthetics and the "feel" of the sky. Because it is contains a beauty and serenity that is all too often overlooked.

The night sky is slow - I don't mean that literally as we travel through it at something approaching 30km per second. But things seem to happen slowly. Yes the stars will move over time, but the movement as you look at them is essentially undiscernable. And the light from some of these stars has taken so long to get here that the star is long gone. Everything about gazing at the night sky is an exercise in patience and relaxation.

We in the built-up areas of the Western world don't get to see the sky in all its glory due to light pollution but it is truly magical sight. On a cloudless night and with the right location you can stare for hours at the majestic beauty of the cosmos and still only see a fraction of a fraction of what there is to see. You can go back every night for a lifetime and see something new each time.

That is another aspect of staring at the sky that I find so appealing, the sense of scale. Some have great difficulty in understanding their place in the universe but I take great comfort in being (as Gargravarr in the Hitchhiker's Guide to Galaxy put it so succinctly) "An invisible dot on an invisible dot, infinitely small".

There is something, for me, so relaxing and soothing about the night sky. It is hard to convey in words but it is a kind of enjoyment in the infiniteness of it. The knowledge that the universe is so vast and old puts our short, small journey through it into perspective. As I said before, some don't like to think of life as essentially a blip on the radar of existence but personally I take great comfort from the sense proportion it gives me.

It is a difficult time for the world at the moment. There seems to be so much wrong, so much to fix, so much to lament :-( But every time I look up into that sky I still retain that sense of wonder, that understanding that everything is possible and that sense of serenity that comes when you realise that all your struggles can be forgotten in the grand scheme of things. It doesn't make problems go away but, for me, staring up at the night sky helps me to remember that problems and stresses are only as important as I decide to make them and there is so much more to life than that.

So next time you get a chance, pick a spot in the sky, stare at it and remember the first time you ever looked in wonder at the universe out there. Remember that time when the sky was a place of beauty and amazement. If you are anything like me then you might be amazed at how much better your own little universe feels afterwards. Especially in these trying times.

Stay safe. Show love.

Till tomorrow, Tom

Day 78 - Read the instructions

Really good first weekend in the lockdown. Managed to get out to do a bit of shopping but generally spent it in the company of friends. Sunday carried on the theme of Saturday really. I caught up with Katie again, this time as she was doing one of her Christmas craft packs. She's got (or at least had before there was a mass cull) literally dozens of these lying around the bedroom. From "knit your own" scarves to science projects and slime kits through geology kits and "do-it-yourself" crafts.

Today's episode of Katie Crafts (her idea, but I'm running with it as a brand now) was making lip balm. It is so good seeing her embracing the creative side of things during this lockdown instead of resorting to the easy route out of being glued to some sort of electronic device. 

Way too many kids already spend a lot of time on their devices and I think it behoves us all as adults to bring back a sense of creativity and ingenuity. We've got a good chance to break the cycle here, don't take the easy route out. Now of course it is easy for me to say that as I'm on my own over here and you are likely having to deal with your kids and their boredom level 24/7 - but I'll swap you in a heartbeat. I'd take a year of having to keep Katie entertained full time over being on my own and free to indulge my own interests. Don't take it for granted.

Speaking of interests, my exciting new hobby arrived Friday - a bonsai treen starter kit. Imagine my excitement in opening the box, checking the contents, reading the little manual on how to do it. Now imagine the look on the face at instruction 6 - "within 2-3 years your tree will be ready for training"! TWO TO THREE YEARS!!! Talk about a long term investment, I could go get another degree in that time. Still, true investments take time to come to fruition. Things that are worth having don't come easy and you can't shy away when the going gets tough. So the seeds are soaking and the first step in the cycle has begun. Please check back in 2-3 years for further results!!

A couple of other new hobbies are on the horizon too. All I'll say is be glad I'm 4000 miles away and you can't hear me. Oh my neighbours are going to hate me. They might even stop their nighttime adventures long enough to complain. I hope they do lol.

Till tomorrow, Tom

Days 76&77 - Find a way

I'm writing this at 11pm after one of those unexpected days that help to remind you of the power of communication and the benefits of making that connection. My Friday was pretty uneventful, working from home and generally just trying to stay sane in amongst the complete madness of what is happening here.

Saturday on the other hand, was just awesome. 

Firstly, my daughter scared the living daylights out of me at about 5am by sending a message to my Echo - "Daddy are you up?". I don't think anything has made me move as quick in years! 

In her defence, I did tell her on Friday night that she could call me 24/7 and I'd always be there. However for context, I've been away for 77 days now and I can safely say that she has called me out of choice about twice. The rest of the time I've had to employ the trick of getting Nat to make her do it! So it was nice, if unexpected.

We then spent the next 4-5 hours hanging out. She baked banana bread (didn't save me any) and then put this awesome 3D Eiffel Tower jigsaw together. I might have dozed off a couple of times (but not for long). I contributed nothing to either the baking or the jigsaw, but I loved every second of it.

The finished product

It was amazing. 

It just shows that this virus lockdown is no reason not to spend time with those you love. With a bit of willpower and a pinch of initiative there is NO excuse that I'll accept for not reaching out and making those memories. 

There is no reason not to be there, even in spirit. We are 4000 miles away and still managed to hang out - for longer than we used to do when I was home probably! 

And if that wasn't enough the afternoon was mainly taken up with a lads afternoon! A few beers and some great chat, ranging from the virus itself through craft beer, "classic era" WWF/E and Lego Batmobiles. 

For those who haven't given it a go yet, I'd thoroughly recommend the HouseParty app. Pretty much just a simple video chat app but it allowed me, Dan, Gareth and Baz to catch up from four locations pretty much seamlessly - despite a minor overheating issue with my phone and Cadman's inability to keep himself in our shots!

I hadn't realised how much I had missed that interaction. How nice it was just to drink some beers and put the world to rights. We take for granted these people in our lives and we shouldn't. 

My hope is that this virus will change the way the world thinks, for the better. 

It will remind us that everything is fleeting and you never know when it might be gone. But it will also show us that this shouldn't be seen as a bad thing, instead it should be a daily reminder to seize the day. It should be the incentive to live more in the here and now. 

We worry so much about the future, and have so little control over it. But the present, well, the present is something you can influence, something you can shape. So embrace it, mould it, shape it to your will. If you think about doing something, go do it. If you miss someone, call them. If you want to spend time with people you are isolated from, find a way. 

That's the key to all of this. Excuses are easy. Don't hide behind them. Don't use them as an "out". Take some responsibility. Own it. Grasp the nettle.

FIND. A. WAY.

Till tomorrow, Tom

Day 74 - Losing Track

Spent the whole of today convinced it was Wednesday. Which it isn't. Therefore I also (for some reason) thought I'd done my blog for the day. So once again I am back scrabbling around for things to say. I've actually got two blogs ready to go. I think the second is more important so that's why I've chosen the order I have.

It is warm here at the moment. Today peaked at 32C - but importantly the minimum is 22C. Trying to sleep in that temperature is a pain. Yeah you can put the A/C on, but that plays havoc with my sinuses and throat. So good quality sleep is proving to be something of a lofty ambition. I'll eventually acclimatise but 30+C in March is not usual for me - and I'm dreading the 40C + 95% humidity that apparently greats summer!!

Not much going on as you'd expect. Working from home is pretty efficient so far, and I've managed to avoid being overloaded with distractions. In some respects I feel very sorry for those who are trying to work with loved ones (both human and animals) in the way. But, as I've alluded to on this blog many times, I'd give pretty much anything to be working from home an have Katie harassing me 24/7!!

Did manage to finally finish Winterfell though. Considering I am probably one of the least creative/artistic people ever (just ask Katie about our bottle rocket project) I am classing this as a major, major win. I guess it is no more than putting Ikea flat-pack together, but I'm claiming my moment in the sun.

It's bigger than it looks - honest!

Till later, Tom

Day 73 - A bit of a mish mash

Today's blog doesn't really have any theme or direction to it. I've noticed that most of my recent ones have (quite rightly) focused on the coronavirus and the almost overwhelming sense of helplessness I've been feeling this far away from home, and those I love. 

It has been so difficult, watching developments back home and not being able to do much about it. I know you can't do it all now, but there should be no reason not to spend time with those that you love, those that you care about. Friends and family. Don't neglect them, don't take them for granted, make that call. Being 4000 miles away sucks at times, don't use smaller distances as an excuse. It frustrates me when I see people not taking opportunities that not all of us have (for whatever reason).

Anyway, now that I'm locked down for the next 3 weeks (minimum) there was a real worry that I'd continue on the same vein and forget the purpose of this blog - to stay in contact with folks and give them some insight into life in the USofA. 

Once this clears I'll be back on the road again and hopefully giving you a broader sense of what it is like down here on the banks of Old Blue. But form now I hope you'll indulge me some "me me me" time as I take you through what life looks like for Doctor Tom at the moment!

I've not managed to quite keep up with my 5 things I wanted to do, primarily as two of them involved being outside. But I have still been trying new things (and trying to re-invigorate old things) as I've been pottering along.

Spanish

I've been at this for a while now and I'm getting competent enough to be able to read bits in Spanish magazines and newspapers. Which is nice. Only bits though, and my vocabulary is still woefully short of poor even! But I can pick up sentence structure and I'm beginning to get the hang of written Spanish too. The big test is obviously going to come once I get out and about and begin to meet people who speak it. That'll come after the virus clears.

Gym/Yoga

The gym is closed now. But I've readjusted and got myself a daily exercise routine - plus a couple of runs a week. The weight is coming off slower than it did at the start but I'm losing inches all round (well, not ALL around) so that's good. I've also recently taken up yoga with the brilliant Adriene. I'm doing the 30 days of Yoga one at the moment and am already noticing the difference in flexibility. Though my knees do make noises they never used to!

Take up a new hobby

I have a couple of exciting developments on the way here. 

As well as becoming a full-on 3D jigsaw addict (check out Winterfell now, the main castle is done) I'm soon to be frustrating my neighbours as I try to learn to play the piano. I've got no music talent whatsoever, but what the hell eh? Problem is that the delivery is delayed for coronavirus so it might be a few weeks before it arrives. As long as I can play something recognisable by the time I come back I'll consider it a success. Hopefully you may even get a Katie/Daddy duet when I get good enough - but not yet.

The other one is a secret. Till it arrives on Saturday. Can't give all my secrets away in one blog. But I will give you a hint. Think small. And cute. And no, it's not a pet.

Challenges
Two 10km runs done. And I'm itching for another one. But I'll have to wait until the virus looks like it is clearing up before I commit to anything serious. And the sky-dive is still on. As soon as I can confirm the date I'll be after money for Christie. So be prepared :-) I'm still hopefully I can get 6-10 in this year, but again we'll see.

Other post virus stuff
Once I'm allowed out again I've got even more irons in the fire. I've joined the Baton Rouge Sunday Social Running Club (here), just waiting to get out now. And I've got plans to join a few of the local disk golfers for a round or two. Plus when sport comes back I've got my eyes on a baseball/softball league and a bit of over-40s soccer when I finally pass the milestone.

So despite everything, life is busy. In these uncertain times it is the best way to be. It hurts to dwell on the past, so I'm trying not to. And the future has so much going for it. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Till then, Tom

Day 72 - Into the unknown

The isolation order finally came in today. We are locking down in a bid to contain the fastest growing escalation of Covid-19 in the USA, possibly the world. Louisiana is picking up cases faster than Italy did at this stage of the cycle, and it only looks like it is going to get worse. The logical thing therefore has come about, and from tomorrow working from home is the only alternative. I've got my work-from-home (WFH) station all set up, it is just a case of how it all pans out.

Now over the last few yers or so I've done a lot of remote working - whether it be with to back in the Manchester office from the USA or to site whilst being based out of an office myself. It is not new to me. Nor is it really new to anyone in my profession these days. It is a global industry, a worldwide business. But never before on this type of scale.

It is going to be fascinating to see how we cope, to see how we adapt. The likelihood is that the way we worked today may be the last day we ever truly work like that. Global collaboration, worldwide hubs and virtual offices are becoming more and more the norm.

The social interaction inherent in office based environments is being eroded away in the name of functionality and efficiency. For example, my commute is short but others will have 2 or so extra hours a day to play with now. That drives productivity and profit.

We have streamlined the activities so well and developed the technologies so thoroughly. The need for human-to-human contact is slowly being removed from the equation. 

Which makes me sad. 

I love the interaction in the office, the camaraderie. I still believe two people in a room with a common purpose and all the information in front of them can make more progress than 20 people in far flung corners of the global - fighting time zones, language barriers, lag (both net and jet), firewalls and dodgy broadband connections. 

There, to me, is still nothing like sitting in front of someone and having a conversation, reading the body language and the unspoken elements. I understand the modern world (and also appreciate that this virus is not par-for-the-course) but I sometimes feel that we need those interactive elements to do our jobs properly. We can't just sit isolated in our towers and retain that level of interaction and collaboration that is so critical to so much of life on this planet. 

Human beings are always better working together, towards a common goal. Now I'm not saying that there isn't a place for remote working in the future (once this is all over) but let's not be too hasty to all retreat to our bunkers and work from there. We are social creatures, in work as well as play.

So tomorrow is the big step for us all. As I said, I've done this remote working before - but both the scale of it, and the reasons for it, fill me with some trepidation for what is to come. However, as I've tried to put across on this blog, the future is something that is going to get here soon enough - you might as well embrace it while you can, however odd it looks.

Till tomorrow, Tom