There is a strange feeling running through me at the moment. For the first time that I can remember in a long, long, long time I feel like I'm being left behind with something.
Sunday marks the first time when I will be going to an OCR/Challenge event and not taking part myself. I've ALWAYS been taking part, either with the original MUBU Rick or more recently with Natalie and/or the whole host of other friendly faces who have joined me for one or more event.
And the most frustrating thing of all is that it is a completely avoidable situation, I WAS signed up but an inability to focus on the task at hand has lead me to this situation. Which is unlike me - I'm usually like a dog with a chicken bone once I get my teeth into something. So what has caused it? Why have I found it so difficult to keep myself fit for these races when I find them so intoxicating and enthralling?
It is a puzzle that I don't currently have an answer to. But I guess that the fact that I'm unhappy about it is a least a good sign. It is evidence if nothing else that I still have the drive and the desire buried away somewhere - if not the application! Sometimes it needs a jolt like this to remind us of what is important and why we shouldn't make excuses. Especially when I see how hard Rick has been working to get fitter and better.
So Sunday will be a strange experience. I'll be cheering Natalie and Rick on with all my might, though a small part of me will be disappointed I'm not there too. But I know I'll get back there, the fire still burns inside and the spark feels ready to ignite again.
Wish them luck, they are definitely going to need it!!
Tough Guy
Till next time,
DT
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