A little bit later than originally planned but time for Part 3 of my little blog mini-series about events and their impacts.
I've already looked at two critical elements for determining the overall effect that a particular event might have, namely the context and the timing. I now want to look at the third important element, possibly the most vital of them all, which is reaction.
In terms of our ability to affect and control the impact of events we have a much more limited influence on timing and context. Yes we can anticipate events and try to alter the profile of an impact, so to speak, but we generally have very little control over these aspects. Reaction on the other hand, is a different kettle of fish.
The impact of an event is often only as important or as unimportant as WE choose to make it. I'm not saying shitty things don't happen or that everything can be fixed with a "can do" attitude. I'm just saying that often our reaction to an event can be the most important factor in determining the impact or severity of that event. Perspective and a hint of positivity can go a long way.
It is difficult sometimes obviously. Not everything can be dealt with positively, and not everything should be. There are certain events for which there is no rational and logical approach. Some things need to be cried about, some things ARE the end of the world and some things should be taken seriously. But it is important to always remember that your reaction is one of the things that define an event and often a sense of proportion can be lost when reactions are, well, "poor".
I have been terrible in that past at this. My reaction to certain things is a big part of the reason I am where I am. There were things that, looking back now, I got terribly terribly wrong. Events that were difficult were made impossible and events that were trivial were made difficult. Situations that should have been easy to solve became difficult and my life ended up taking a path it probably didn't have to.
The most important thing is to learn to recognise HOW your behaviour and reaction to an event can affect its impact, even after the event has happened. This is not something that is particular common in nature where cause tends to lead to effect with no place for post-event "control". But we have the ability and the power to shape that effect, to make it what we need it to be and not just a function of the factors which caused it.
This is why I think our reaction to things is even more important than the timing or the context. We can have a direct influence on things (both for good and for bad) and I think too many people don't understand that. Or maybe they sub-consciously don't enjoy the responsibility. A lot of people are too quick to complain when everything goes against them without realising that a lot of the time (not all of the time I grant you) their reaction to things can actually greatly influence the net impact. Maybe they like being able to blame something rather than face the (sometimes difficult) choice of what can be done about it.
I have found it a very important step at dealing with my bipolar. Sometimes it can feel like the world is spiralling away from you and there is nothing you can do about it. You feel trapped, isolated and complete helpless. But that doesn't have to be the case all the time. There are things we can do about it, things we can control which can help with managing the situations.
Positivity and an understanding that WE have a much greater say in things than we sometimes believe is a small step of the way. And if we also become better at finding a sense of perspective and taking some responsibility for events then I genuinely think we can make a difference.
So always remember, events are shaped by causes - but they are often shaped just as importantly by how WE react to them and how we choose to allow the consequences and impacts to manifest.
Till next time,
DT
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